Thursday, October 02, 2008

Assassin's Creedisms

1. Every male, 40-ish-year old person in the Holy land has at least two sons, both of which are apparently cowardly and need to learn from your brave example.
2. Educated scholars are allowed to pass any guard posts, and enter any high-security area in every city, as long as they bow their heads and act humbly.
3. Stacks of hay are conveniently placed at the edge of every elevated tower, perchance a daring climber fall to his otherwise unwieldy demise.
4. After losing their assailant, guards and soldiers will stumble about blindly, ignoring the only possible hiding spot in front of them, which is usually a stack of hay, a bench, or a curtained room. After not checking the hiding spot (because there's no way you could be in there!), they all immediately turn around at the same moment and walk away.
5. Assassins are unable to swim, probably due to the 5 layers of clothing they wear, and thus, they will die after being emerged in water for more than 3 seconds.
6. Fellow guards will watch in horror, unable to intervene, as you stab their comrades in a combo-switch, awesome kill where you shove the sword straight into the guy's chest. They just have to watch you finish it, because it's too awesome.
7. When Assassin's INC decided they would install a headquarters in every major city in the Holy land, they decided to prefab every entrance so that it would look exactly the same in every city with zero differences.

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