Tuesday, May 20, 2008


1. Characters in Cyrodiil are a very friendly ol' bunch. They will often come up to each other and greet one another with the phrases, "Well met," and "Hello," then proceed to talk about how vile Mud Crabs are, or another topic of equal conversational value, then end the conversation with a simple "Goodbye" and walk away.
2. In the land of Cyrodiil, insulting a character is totally A-Okay, just as long as you butter them up afterwards and tell them a joke. All will be forgiven and forgotten.
3. All of the caverns in Cyrodiil are made of the same 5 sets of tile pieces, intricately put together in different orders. By opening and blocking different paths, it creates the illusion of a new cave.
4. About 400 years ago, the emperor decided to build approximately fifty forts scattered around random locations in the land, then all at once abruptly abandoned them to decay, only after installing special death traps and dumping treasure chests of loot in conveniently placed locations and dead-ends.
5. There is a 95% chance that the terrain you are walking on is actually above an underground passage, whether this be from a Fort Ruin, a cavern, an Ayleid ruin, a Labyrinth, somebody's Hideout, or some other odd place.
6. When walking along a main road to another city, there is a:
a. 15% chance you will encounter a dangerous wild-life animal, such as a bear, lion, or wolf.
b. 25% chance you will run into a bloodthirsty bandit who wishes to kill you for entering his or her terrain.
c. 10% chance you will run into a goblin, or another monster of equal fighting value.
d. 10% chance you will run into a Highway Man, who wants you to pay up, but you can just out-run him up to the next city.
7. Every shopkeeper in every city offers the finest wares at the lowest prices in all of Cyrodiil.
8. When you ask for help in the epic battle (equivalent to Helm's Deep) from each city and they say 'yes,' this really means them each sending two soldiers while the fate of the world is in their hands.
9. Due to the nature of melee combat and inaccurate archers in Cyrodiil, you can pretty much run through the entire game without killing anyone, as long as you are either:
a) Fast - Achieved through spells or enchantments.
b) Invisible - Also achieved through spells or enchantments.
Best Side-Quest: Knights of the Nine - It's better than the main quest.
Best Accessory: Skeleton Key - You will never break another lock pick again.
Most Boring Guild: Fighter's Guild - Repetitive contracts and tons of loading screens.
Best Spell: Invisibility - You will never have to fight anyone, ever again. (Runner up: Feather - it allows you to carry another sofa back to your house!)
Most Annoying Enemy: Anybody who can summon a monster - This doubles your pain as you have to fight two baddies at a time. (Runner up: The velociraptor - when you try to block its attacks, it still damages you and shakes your screen, and when you try to slash it, it slashes back harder.)
Best Combat Tactic: Shoving the enemy off a high ledge (preferably into a pit of lava at the bottom) - Very useful in the planes of Oblivion!

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At 5/22/2008 10:58 AM, Blogger ifedajay said...

sounds like funnnnn

At 5/22/2008 8:03 PM, Blogger TheJBurger said...



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